I think this 40 day fast from Facebook has been a very good thing...for me. It isn't for everyone 😉
I believe in my last post, I said I would post my journey here...then I realized I did NOT want one technology connecting point to replace another one...controlling my interactions on social media is a HUGE challenge for me. So I have NOT posted anything about my journey for others to read...and I am ok with that too.
When I started my fast I saw a meme picture...on Pinterest (yes, I did still go there...occasionally!) It was a link to a blog post about letting people know you are fasting social media & I did not feel the message was overly positive. In fact, the blog author came across with a very scolding attitude imho. You see, I did let people know, posting on FB as my status that I would be gone & why for a number of reasons...none of which were to 'toot my on horn' as was implied in this other blog post.
For someone who interacts with people alot via FB, I felt it very important for those relationships to know why they couldn't 'find' me or weren't 'seeing' me anymore. For some of my FB friends, that is our only mode of communication, we don't text or email or call. Its also why I chose to have my last post before shutting down my wall, while keeping my profile 'active', be about why I wasn't visibly active on FB. (I did NOT want to just disappear...nor did I want to come back to a zillion posts asking where i was! Okay, a zillion is probably an exaggeration😊)
You see for me, FB isn't about 'the number' of friends I have, it truly is about the quality of relationship. I don't want to just 'collect' friends, I want to interact with them. Yes, many are more what I would categorize as acquaintances than friends (and some are family-another interesting facet to relationships indeed!)...but that is a social media problem in my opinion. The word 'friend' doesn't mean what it used to, kind of like the word 'love'.
I love my husband...I love soup...NOT the same!
She is my friend (we 'do life' together)...he is my friend (we went to HS together)...NOT the same!
Thats a whole different topic for another day.....
Coming full circle in this thought process....
I am so thankful I followed Gods lead to fast FB for 40 days & replace that time with time spent with Jesus...building THE MOST important relationship I will ever have! And I am also thankful that I followed His lead TO post it on FB...to preserve some relationships that are important...yet precarious right now.
Okay...thats what a few minutes inside of my brain looks like....scary place, I know 😏
February 14, 2013
40 days...
Today, I begin a journey.
A journey I am not walking alone.
A journey to grow...to pray...to stay away.
A journey with a daily commitment to others.
40 days, it seems like a daunting task. One I could never undertake in my own power. One I could never take credit for completing on my own.
This 40 day journey, will take discipline, iPad reminders, & accountability.
This 40 day journey will find me disconnecting yet connecting.
This 40 day journey will change me, my relationships & most importantly my life.
I will spend time...
In prayer.
In His Word.
In self-inspection.
In my journal.
In growing.
With my Jesus.
Today, I begin a journey.
A journey I will share with you here.
A journey that I hope and pray will change my life forever.
A journey that I pray continues well beyond the 40 days.
A journey I am not walking alone.
A journey to grow...to pray...to stay away.
A journey with a daily commitment to others.
40 days, it seems like a daunting task. One I could never undertake in my own power. One I could never take credit for completing on my own.
This 40 day journey, will take discipline, iPad reminders, & accountability.
This 40 day journey will find me disconnecting yet connecting.
This 40 day journey will change me, my relationships & most importantly my life.
I will spend time...
In prayer.
In His Word.
In self-inspection.
In my journal.
In growing.
With my Jesus.
Today, I begin a journey.
A journey I will share with you here.
A journey that I hope and pray will change my life forever.
A journey that I pray continues well beyond the 40 days.
October 26, 2012
Am I willing...
To get on my knees and own my mistakes...to call them what they really are? Do I desire the life Jesus talks about in John 10:10?
Sure, they can be 'learning opportunities', 'stepping stones to a better me', 'someone else's fault', 'a slip of the tongue', 'an innocent mistake' or my favorite...'you know I didn't mean it'.
Yup, they CAN go by all those names, but here's the thing...it's still sin. And sin requires ME to acknowledge My part and seek forgiveness from God and sometimes the other person (even IF they may not know I said or did something against them)
So the question is...am I willing to call my sin what it is and seek forgiveness and ultimately restoration?
Here is what just a snippet of scripture has to say....
From the Old Testament: "Then if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and restore their land."
~2 Chronicles 7:14 (NLT)~
From Jesus..."For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." (Matthew 6:14,15 NIV)
From Paul... "Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." (Colossians 3:12-14 NIV)
And from John, later in his life.... "This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us." (1 John 1:5-10 NIV)
Hmmmmm....that is just a tiny snippet of what God's Word has to say about sin, forgiveness & restoration. The number of verses seems virtually unending!
So I end right where I started...
Do I desire the life Jesus talks about in John 10:10?
The answer is: YES!
Am I willing To get on my knees and own my mistakes...to call them what they really are?
Sure, they can be 'learning opportunities', 'stepping stones to a better me', 'someone else's fault', 'a slip of the tongue', 'an innocent mistake' or my favorite...'you know I didn't mean it'.
Yup, they CAN go by all those names, but here's the thing...it's still sin. And sin requires ME to acknowledge My part and seek forgiveness from God and sometimes the other person (even IF they may not know I said or did something against them)
So the question is...am I willing to call my sin what it is and seek forgiveness and ultimately restoration?
Here is what just a snippet of scripture has to say....
From the Old Testament: "Then if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and restore their land."
~2 Chronicles 7:14 (NLT)~
From Jesus..."For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins." (Matthew 6:14,15 NIV)
From Paul... "Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." (Colossians 3:12-14 NIV)
And from John, later in his life.... "This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us." (1 John 1:5-10 NIV)
Hmmmmm....that is just a tiny snippet of what God's Word has to say about sin, forgiveness & restoration. The number of verses seems virtually unending!
So I end right where I started...
Do I desire the life Jesus talks about in John 10:10?
The answer is: YES!
Am I willing To get on my knees and own my mistakes...to call them what they really are?
January 21, 2012
A Snow Day
Today, as I was outside loading up our woodstove, my puppy was just frolicking away in the snow! She LOVED everything about it! So much so, that at one point upon returning inside she literally took me by the hand and led me to the door so we could go outside AGAIN!
Now as many of you may remember, she was in a bad accident in June (at just shy of 4 months old) where her hip broke near the joint and was never repair...it was left to heal on its own & would create a "false joint". One day she will have arthritis in that hip...but today...watching her...no one and I mean no one would ever think she has a totally disconnected bone in her hip! I didn't even think about it...until later...when I took the step back to see the bigger lesson to be learned from my girl today.
Sometimes the world WILL try to rip us apart, run us over, break us to a point where full repair is not possible. How will I handle that? Will I wallow or will I frolic? Will I make sure everyone knows I am suffering or will I enjoy life? The choice is mine!
Like my girl....I choose to frolic in the life God has blessed me with, despite the "damage" that has been done or the mistakes I have made! I WILL FOCUS on the frolic!!! What will you do?
Now as many of you may remember, she was in a bad accident in June (at just shy of 4 months old) where her hip broke near the joint and was never repair...it was left to heal on its own & would create a "false joint". One day she will have arthritis in that hip...but today...watching her...no one and I mean no one would ever think she has a totally disconnected bone in her hip! I didn't even think about it...until later...when I took the step back to see the bigger lesson to be learned from my girl today.
Sometimes the world WILL try to rip us apart, run us over, break us to a point where full repair is not possible. How will I handle that? Will I wallow or will I frolic? Will I make sure everyone knows I am suffering or will I enjoy life? The choice is mine!
Like my girl....I choose to frolic in the life God has blessed me with, despite the "damage" that has been done or the mistakes I have made! I WILL FOCUS on the frolic!!! What will you do?
The Knot Prayer
I borrowed this from a friend because I wanted to share it AND because I wanted to be sure I had it recorded for future reference...when those dang knots TRY to come back!
Dear God:
Please untie the knots
that are in my mind,
my heart and my life.
Remove the have nots,
the can nots and the do nots
that I have in my mind.
Erase the will nots,
may nots,
might nots that may find
a home in my heart.
Release me from the could nots,
would nots and
should nots that obstruct my life.
And most of all,
Dear God,
I ask that you remove from my mind,
my heart and my life all the am nots'
that I have allowed to hold me back,
especially the thought
that I am not good enough.
Amen
Author known to God
January 4, 2012
Here's to New Beginnings...
In light of the new year, I have a new blog layout...and a new"er" purpose for my blog! If you read my tag-line up there ^, you will see that my purpose for TKM is to be a place to talk about the one thing that matters most in this life: RELATIONSHIPS...with God, Family & Friends!
I truly believe that NOTHING is more important than these relationships! After all, it is why we were created...to have a relationship with God & each other ("it was not good for man to be alone"...in all of that perfectness that was the Garden of Eden...God created man-and then woman...for the purpose of relationships! He sent His son to die for ME, so I could have restoration to a broken relationship with Him...the break that sin caused!)
So....here is my question to you...in regards to TKM's purpose, what would you like to chat about this year?
Leave me a comment & let me know...and please invite others into the conversation by sharing TKM with them!!
Until next time.
I truly believe that NOTHING is more important than these relationships! After all, it is why we were created...to have a relationship with God & each other ("it was not good for man to be alone"...in all of that perfectness that was the Garden of Eden...God created man-and then woman...for the purpose of relationships! He sent His son to die for ME, so I could have restoration to a broken relationship with Him...the break that sin caused!)
So....here is my question to you...in regards to TKM's purpose, what would you like to chat about this year?
Leave me a comment & let me know...and please invite others into the conversation by sharing TKM with them!!
Until next time.
December 31, 2011
In Reflection
2011...
It's been a year of endings...some quite difficult.
It's been a year of beginnings...most quite wonderful.
It's been a year of tears...many happy, some sad & many bittersweet.
It's been a year...a wonderful, crazy, stress filled, relaxed, happy, sad, roller coaster kind of year.and I wouldn't trade one minute of it.
I've spent moments in prayers.
I've spent moments in song.
I've had moments of tears.
I've had moments of laughs.
I've spent time with my family.
Watched my son graduate
Along with 20 kids I love like my own.
I've seen him fly the nest and return again. :)
I've spent time with my friends.
Eating meals, having coffee & talking
Laughing, crying, praying & dancing.
I couldn't do life without you.
Endings...
...are painful.
Ecclesiastes reminds us that everything has a season. And seasons must end. Winter must come so that spring can well...spring! There is beauty in each ending-if we are willing to look for them. For with each ending, perhaps it's actually a...
Beginning.
Beginnings...
...are typically anticipated.
As one season ends a new season begins! So rather than focus in what has been, perhaps we should loom ahead to what God has next. Don't ignore the feelings of hurt or disappointment from the previous seasons ending...just don't dwell on
them. Allow God to move you through the next season...
For nothing is better than being with God where you are...
2012...what will you bring? How will respond to life? Will I love the way Jesus loved me-selflessly, unconditionally & fully?
What are you pondering as you look...
...back in reflection on the year just ending? ...ahead with anticipation for the year on the verge of beginning?
May I encourage you...open the Bible, read about just how much God loves you, & talk to Him! You will find no more fulfilling relationship or reliable friend than in Jesus Christ!
It's been a year of endings...some quite difficult.
It's been a year of beginnings...most quite wonderful.
It's been a year of tears...many happy, some sad & many bittersweet.
It's been a year...a wonderful, crazy, stress filled, relaxed, happy, sad, roller coaster kind of year.and I wouldn't trade one minute of it.
I've spent moments in prayers.
I've spent moments in song.
I've had moments of tears.
I've had moments of laughs.
I've spent time with my family.
Watched my son graduate
Along with 20 kids I love like my own.
I've seen him fly the nest and return again. :)
I've spent time with my friends.
Eating meals, having coffee & talking
Laughing, crying, praying & dancing.
I couldn't do life without you.
Endings...
...are painful.
Ecclesiastes reminds us that everything has a season. And seasons must end. Winter must come so that spring can well...spring! There is beauty in each ending-if we are willing to look for them. For with each ending, perhaps it's actually a...
Beginning.
Beginnings...
...are typically anticipated.
As one season ends a new season begins! So rather than focus in what has been, perhaps we should loom ahead to what God has next. Don't ignore the feelings of hurt or disappointment from the previous seasons ending...just don't dwell on
them. Allow God to move you through the next season...
For nothing is better than being with God where you are...
2012...what will you bring? How will respond to life? Will I love the way Jesus loved me-selflessly, unconditionally & fully?
What are you pondering as you look...
...back in reflection on the year just ending? ...ahead with anticipation for the year on the verge of beginning?
May I encourage you...open the Bible, read about just how much God loves you, & talk to Him! You will find no more fulfilling relationship or reliable friend than in Jesus Christ!
November 14, 2011
In Christ Alone...
....my hope is found.
Is this where I find my hope? Do I look to Christ or do I look to my circumstances? When my circumstances are good, hope comes easy...but when circumstances get hard, unfair, difficult, challenging, hurtful, or any other type of negative word you can come up with, well hope is much harder to come by! Should it be that way?
Well, I think if we are honest...yes, it will be that way! We live in a fallen world, corrupted by sin so yeah fighting off those negative feelings is not easy to do...finding hope is not easy to see through the storms that come our way. It is NOT easy and we are not promised easy...but it can be done...we can find hope. What will I choose to look at?
He is my light, my strength, my song
Oh what a promise! When I look through the storm, there is a light to be seen. Sometimes it comes in flashes or short glimpses...and sometimes it is totally obliterated by the storm...but the light is ALWAYS there. Strength...boy when hope wanes do I ever need the strength of others around me to help hold me up & point me back to Jesus. Song...well if we were created to worship, then my song should sing to Him...often when I am the most down (hopeless) a song can boost my spirit or it can bring me down...what will I choose? If I am choosing Him-then a song to boost my spirit is what I need...one that brings honor and glory to Him, not just makes me feel good!
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
A cornerstone...oh the strength found in a cornerstone...the stability...reliability. Only my hope isn't in just any cornerstone-it is found in THE Cornerstone-Jesus Christ. Solid ground...what a wonderful feeling...to know that what is beneath you can not be shaken liked the plates of this world. Our world can be shaken both physically (in nature) and literally (in our personal lives) However, if I put my hope in Christ alone-I AM on solid ground and when everything around me is shaking-THE Cornerstone, THE Solid Ground will always remain steadfast!
Is this where I find my hope? Do I look to Christ or do I look to my circumstances? When my circumstances are good, hope comes easy...but when circumstances get hard, unfair, difficult, challenging, hurtful, or any other type of negative word you can come up with, well hope is much harder to come by! Should it be that way?
Well, I think if we are honest...yes, it will be that way! We live in a fallen world, corrupted by sin so yeah fighting off those negative feelings is not easy to do...finding hope is not easy to see through the storms that come our way. It is NOT easy and we are not promised easy...but it can be done...we can find hope. What will I choose to look at?
He is my light, my strength, my song
Oh what a promise! When I look through the storm, there is a light to be seen. Sometimes it comes in flashes or short glimpses...and sometimes it is totally obliterated by the storm...but the light is ALWAYS there. Strength...boy when hope wanes do I ever need the strength of others around me to help hold me up & point me back to Jesus. Song...well if we were created to worship, then my song should sing to Him...often when I am the most down (hopeless) a song can boost my spirit or it can bring me down...what will I choose? If I am choosing Him-then a song to boost my spirit is what I need...one that brings honor and glory to Him, not just makes me feel good!
This Cornerstone, this solid ground
A cornerstone...oh the strength found in a cornerstone...the stability...reliability. Only my hope isn't in just any cornerstone-it is found in THE Cornerstone-Jesus Christ. Solid ground...what a wonderful feeling...to know that what is beneath you can not be shaken liked the plates of this world. Our world can be shaken both physically (in nature) and literally (in our personal lives) However, if I put my hope in Christ alone-I AM on solid ground and when everything around me is shaking-THE Cornerstone, THE Solid Ground will always remain steadfast!
November 13, 2011
The King's Mountain: Keep Your Chin Up
I originally wrote this blog one year ago today in memory of my friend, Beth...I went back to see where I journeyed from a year ago and realized that I needed the reminder to Keep My Chin Up...NOT because the world tells me to, but to KEEP MY EYES on MY SAVIOR!!!!
So while another year has passed since the world lost a wonderful woman and the heaven's gained a beautiful angel and your loss is still felt here...life DOES go on-as seen in your family: a new business for Vern, a wedding for Cory, a college for Casey & a 2nd hole for Cayla ;) Please friends read on...and be blessed. Thanks!
One year ago today, we lost a wonderful woman,daughter, sister, wife, mother & friend... and heaven gained one beautiful angel. Her life was her family... those she loved the most. I was blessed to know her if only for a few short years. (12 to be exact...and boy did they pass quickly) Her life was her Lord...whom she loved above all else.
This was so very evident in her life...and her death. One year later, her children, husband, family & friends still miss her and yet their lives go on... on to do wonderful things and touch the lives of others because of the example she lived out... They don't want her message to die with her... her message (at least to me) was that God loves each one of us and He is faithful no matter what comes our way. Walk with Him for it is the ONLY journey worth walking...no matter where it takes you...even if it seems you've been taken too soon...Keep your chin up...not because your tough and it's what the world tells us... but because it keeps your eyes focused on Him!
"I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me." Could I really? Could I really do ALL things...you see all means...well...all...even death Lord? Yes child, even death. Could I leave my family behind? I really don't know Lord... My child, if I called you home...I know you would come. Please trust me with those you love...I will never let them down.
So... I keep my chin up... eyes focused on my Savior... and when everything around me feels like it is falling apart or spinning out of control... I trust myself into His arms-the creator of the universe, who named every star, knows the number of hairs on my head, and promises He will never leave me. Well... at least I try really hard to do that! I need to be reminded every now & then to Keep My Chin Up!
Miss you Beth... know this though... you've left a legacy that will not end!
So while another year has passed since the world lost a wonderful woman and the heaven's gained a beautiful angel and your loss is still felt here...life DOES go on-as seen in your family: a new business for Vern, a wedding for Cory, a college for Casey & a 2nd hole for Cayla ;) Please friends read on...and be blessed. Thanks!
One year ago today, we lost a wonderful woman,daughter, sister, wife, mother & friend... and heaven gained one beautiful angel. Her life was her family... those she loved the most. I was blessed to know her if only for a few short years. (12 to be exact...and boy did they pass quickly) Her life was her Lord...whom she loved above all else.
This was so very evident in her life...and her death. One year later, her children, husband, family & friends still miss her and yet their lives go on... on to do wonderful things and touch the lives of others because of the example she lived out... They don't want her message to die with her... her message (at least to me) was that God loves each one of us and He is faithful no matter what comes our way. Walk with Him for it is the ONLY journey worth walking...no matter where it takes you...even if it seems you've been taken too soon...Keep your chin up...not because your tough and it's what the world tells us... but because it keeps your eyes focused on Him!
"I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me." Could I really? Could I really do ALL things...you see all means...well...all...even death Lord? Yes child, even death. Could I leave my family behind? I really don't know Lord... My child, if I called you home...I know you would come. Please trust me with those you love...I will never let them down.
So... I keep my chin up... eyes focused on my Savior... and when everything around me feels like it is falling apart or spinning out of control... I trust myself into His arms-the creator of the universe, who named every star, knows the number of hairs on my head, and promises He will never leave me. Well... at least I try really hard to do that! I need to be reminded every now & then to Keep My Chin Up!
Miss you Beth... know this though... you've left a legacy that will not end!
August 30, 2011
"Yaweh-Yireh" (from Genesis 22)
Today in my devotions I was challenged to 2 things:
1. Read Psalm 91. List the promises God has for those who love Him.
1. Read Psalm 91. List the promises God has for those who love Him.
2. Read the story of Abraham and Isaac in Genesis 22. What are some of the things Abraham did right that I can apply to my situation?
So, I set out to do just that...
After listing out the promises I read in Psalm 91, I read Genesis 22-a story I was very familiar with, yet I took new eyes to it today. What did Abraham do in spite of the circumstances that I can apply today...right this moment? Well, my answer didn't come exactly the way I expected it to...But here is where my thoughts took me today...
Genesis 22-God spoke. Abraham didn't understand. YET Abraham obeyed! He got up, gathered what he needed for the "job" ahead and walked! And walked some more...then when he had walked for days, having been questioned by his son, he continued to walk. Then he began to build-do the "job" he was told to do.
Still unsure, probably scratching his head, even shedding some tears I would imagine. Totally confused by what God asked of him, what God EXPECTED of him. I can just hear his anguish filled thoughts, "GOD! This-referring to Isaac-is what YOU promised to me AND NOW YOU are going TO TAKE this from me!" Abraham's actions show that even in the confusion-he just had to be confused didn't he?-he STILL believed and trusted God. He did NOT run away OR have a back-up plan in his pocket-he moved in the direction that made NO SENSE to him whatsoever. HE TRUSTED GOD TO KEEP HIS PROMISE!
And when the time came to let go of his son, completely & utterly without understanding why God was asking this of him-God did His part-HE KEPT HIS PROMISE and provided the way out-the one needed piece that only HE could provide AND in such a way that credit could ONLY be given to "Yaweh-Yireh"-THE LORD WILL PROVIDE!
What promise has GOd given to you that circumstances are making it look impossible?
Where do you need to walk in faith when those steps make no sense?
May I encourage you to read Psalm 91 & Genesis 22...and record your thoughts in a journal.
To read more about what inspired my thoughts today check out:
Proverbs 31 Ministries today's devotion was entitled "A Ram Is On The Way" by Glynnis Whitwer
July 16, 2011
Ch...ch...ch...changes
Life is full of them...everyday little ones, seemingly insignificant ones, the ones we never see or never think about are happening... like the shedding of our hair or dead skin cells, a flower fading, the morning dew evaporating, leaves falling. I mean do we ever think about those little changes? I know I rarely do.
How much do I take the Love of my Father God for granted...in the midst of the everyday?
How much do I take the Forgiveness of my Father God for granted...in the midst of the everyday?
How much do I take the precious gift of Jesus Christ for granted...in the midst of the everyday?
Has my faith become mundane? A daily ritual, a going through the motions, a doing what is right just for the sake of doing it.... OR is my faith ALIVE, growing, breathing, changing... Like the big changes we see & notice in the world around us, the ones that are hard to miss... the sunrise or sunset, the stages of the moon from new to full, the first blooms of spring, a blanket of fresh white snow in the morning, a thunderstorm, rain after it has been so dry...
My personal life has been full of changes recently, my son & his classmates (21 in all) have graduated after spending nearly 12 or 13 years together (for most of them). They became a family & are "my kids". This change was hard, it was one I saw coming for a long time & anticipated, yet feared too. In 37 days, we will take him 8 hours from home into a whole new world called college. Our home will be empty...a change that is definitely hard to miss! So what will I do in the midst of this change? (and all the other hard things that are going on right now...ya know that feeling you get when the waves just keep coming-that's kind of where I am! Enough on that though, you get the picture and we all have them... so insert your hard thing here)
Will I hide or will I thrive?
As I walk through these personal life changes, God has been drawing me back to His music! If you look at my facebook page, you will notice that His music is all over my wall right now! There is such a reason for that, and while I don't get the whole of His reasons right now, I do get this...I am wired to worship... what will I worship? I am doing my best to choose God...
Here is where I landed the other day,
God, I trust You... because You promise a hope that doesn't ever end...when everything seems to appear to be falling apart around us or the oceans seem to be rising or a tragedy finds us....YOU gives us the strength to
rise...to find a new beginning...YOU ARE the ONLY HOPE for this heart!
So back to these "changes", did you know that the little changes can make the biggest difference. If we can take notice of the small things in our lives & begin to make changes there (or not), we begin to effect those around us. For example, take the Israelites...They were a nation, held captive in Egypt... a rather large nation that had become slaves... How in the world did this happen?
Traced back you can see it began with Joseph & his brothers/ They had felt angry one day, probably many days toward their little brother Joseph. Instead of dealing with this anger, they allowed it to take root-and finally one day, that anger had built to such a level that they actually contemplated ridding themselves of Joseph FOR GOOD...like permanently gone from the face of this earth... WHOA!!!! Stop right there...how in the world could these guys raised in a "good home" seriously consider murdering their little brother? It all started with the little seed of anger that was allowed to grow. Fortunately for Joseph, one of his brother's had enough sense to realize that they really did NOT want Joseph's blood on their hands...so, let's just "make this problem go away" and sell him! YUP, that will fix it all...we will sell him and then whatever happens AT LEAST we know we didn't kill him! So we aren't THAT bad right? (how do I justify my choices in my life?)
Years pass, confusing, sad, heartbreaking years...and eventually Joseph rises to power-for it was seen that he was a good man, an honorable man...though I'm pretty sure when he sat in that prison he wasn't having the best of thought toward his brothers...I'm sure he had to "work through" some things! Anyway, he is in power and who happens to appear before him...needing HIS help...those same stinking brothers who threw him in a pit, sold him as a slave and never really told him why...REVENGE???? Perhaps...he spoke harshly to them when he first saw them, made untrue accusations at them, bribes them with their freedom,... all in just one visit...well, they came back...and eventually we see that Joseph forgives his brothers & has ALL 11 of them & their families come join them in Egypt to SAVE them from the famine... Joseph chose forgiveness over anger. I mean he had EVERY RIGHT to be angry didn't he?
You see God worked what Joseph's brothers intended for evil into good-saving the entire nation of Israel from famine-Joseph saw that "little thing" and allowed it to be changed!
However,fast forward a number of years and there was a lasting consequence that came from that "little bit of anger" left unchecked by his brothers...Exodus 1:8-11, tells us that sometime after Joseph died a new ruler came into power who knew nothing of Joseph. He decided the nation of Israel was TOO BIG and so he enslaved them! How did this happen?
It was a "slow fade"...a little jealousy, a little anger and a little envy left unchecked. And the course of a nation was changed...
So I ask you this, what "little thing" might God be showing you and asking you to change? While it may not change the course of a nation...it WILL change the course of your life given the chance. For me...it was time I turned back to His music to fill me!
Check out these links,to read or listen to some of the things that spurred these thoughts today:
http://devotions.proverbs31.org/2011/07/just-a-little-sin.html
http://youtu.be/QASREBVDsLk
How much do I take the Love of my Father God for granted...in the midst of the everyday?
How much do I take the Forgiveness of my Father God for granted...in the midst of the everyday?
How much do I take the precious gift of Jesus Christ for granted...in the midst of the everyday?
Has my faith become mundane? A daily ritual, a going through the motions, a doing what is right just for the sake of doing it.... OR is my faith ALIVE, growing, breathing, changing... Like the big changes we see & notice in the world around us, the ones that are hard to miss... the sunrise or sunset, the stages of the moon from new to full, the first blooms of spring, a blanket of fresh white snow in the morning, a thunderstorm, rain after it has been so dry...
My personal life has been full of changes recently, my son & his classmates (21 in all) have graduated after spending nearly 12 or 13 years together (for most of them). They became a family & are "my kids". This change was hard, it was one I saw coming for a long time & anticipated, yet feared too. In 37 days, we will take him 8 hours from home into a whole new world called college. Our home will be empty...a change that is definitely hard to miss! So what will I do in the midst of this change? (and all the other hard things that are going on right now...ya know that feeling you get when the waves just keep coming-that's kind of where I am! Enough on that though, you get the picture and we all have them... so insert your hard thing here)
Will I hide or will I thrive?
As I walk through these personal life changes, God has been drawing me back to His music! If you look at my facebook page, you will notice that His music is all over my wall right now! There is such a reason for that, and while I don't get the whole of His reasons right now, I do get this...I am wired to worship... what will I worship? I am doing my best to choose God...
Here is where I landed the other day,
God, I trust You... because You promise a hope that doesn't ever end...when everything seems to appear to be falling apart around us or the oceans seem to be rising or a tragedy finds us....YOU gives us the strength to
rise...to find a new beginning...YOU ARE the ONLY HOPE for this heart!
So back to these "changes", did you know that the little changes can make the biggest difference. If we can take notice of the small things in our lives & begin to make changes there (or not), we begin to effect those around us. For example, take the Israelites...They were a nation, held captive in Egypt... a rather large nation that had become slaves... How in the world did this happen?
Traced back you can see it began with Joseph & his brothers/ They had felt angry one day, probably many days toward their little brother Joseph. Instead of dealing with this anger, they allowed it to take root-and finally one day, that anger had built to such a level that they actually contemplated ridding themselves of Joseph FOR GOOD...like permanently gone from the face of this earth... WHOA!!!! Stop right there...how in the world could these guys raised in a "good home" seriously consider murdering their little brother? It all started with the little seed of anger that was allowed to grow. Fortunately for Joseph, one of his brother's had enough sense to realize that they really did NOT want Joseph's blood on their hands...so, let's just "make this problem go away" and sell him! YUP, that will fix it all...we will sell him and then whatever happens AT LEAST we know we didn't kill him! So we aren't THAT bad right? (how do I justify my choices in my life?)
Years pass, confusing, sad, heartbreaking years...and eventually Joseph rises to power-for it was seen that he was a good man, an honorable man...though I'm pretty sure when he sat in that prison he wasn't having the best of thought toward his brothers...I'm sure he had to "work through" some things! Anyway, he is in power and who happens to appear before him...needing HIS help...those same stinking brothers who threw him in a pit, sold him as a slave and never really told him why...REVENGE???? Perhaps...he spoke harshly to them when he first saw them, made untrue accusations at them, bribes them with their freedom,... all in just one visit...well, they came back...and eventually we see that Joseph forgives his brothers & has ALL 11 of them & their families come join them in Egypt to SAVE them from the famine... Joseph chose forgiveness over anger. I mean he had EVERY RIGHT to be angry didn't he?
You see God worked what Joseph's brothers intended for evil into good-saving the entire nation of Israel from famine-Joseph saw that "little thing" and allowed it to be changed!
However,fast forward a number of years and there was a lasting consequence that came from that "little bit of anger" left unchecked by his brothers...Exodus 1:8-11, tells us that sometime after Joseph died a new ruler came into power who knew nothing of Joseph. He decided the nation of Israel was TOO BIG and so he enslaved them! How did this happen?
It was a "slow fade"...a little jealousy, a little anger and a little envy left unchecked. And the course of a nation was changed...
So I ask you this, what "little thing" might God be showing you and asking you to change? While it may not change the course of a nation...it WILL change the course of your life given the chance. For me...it was time I turned back to His music to fill me!
Check out these links,to read or listen to some of the things that spurred these thoughts today:
http://devotions.proverbs31.org/2011/07/just-a-little-sin.html
http://youtu.be/QASREBVDsLk
April 1, 2011
Part 5-Extra Grace Required-Jesus on Difficult People
Today... short & to the point to wrap up the topic... I know many may not have ever seen these entries and that is ok... I just hope that we will all take a look at how we deal with difficult people... I mean really folks... come on ... ya know we ALL HAVE THEM IN OUR LIVES!!! So here it is...
The best strategy for dealing with difficult people is Christ's strategy.
As you can see, there is really only one effective behavior on this entire grid. There is only one behavior that effectively moves a situation toward resolution. In closing let me call your attention to Jesus’ words in Matthew 18:15-17 (NIV). "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or tax collector."
Project truth. Be proactive when someone sins against you. Show him his fault. Tell him about the impact of his actions or words. Project grace. If he refuses to listen, treat him like a pagan or tax collector. Treat him as a person outside the family of Christ, as a potential Christian, and as a person who needs to know the love and forgiveness of Christ.
You can never go wrong with Christ-like behavior.
So friends... I'd love to hear your thoughts on this topic...
The best strategy for dealing with difficult people is Christ's strategy.
As you can see, there is really only one effective behavior on this entire grid. There is only one behavior that effectively moves a situation toward resolution. In closing let me call your attention to Jesus’ words in Matthew 18:15-17 (NIV). "If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or tax collector."
Project truth. Be proactive when someone sins against you. Show him his fault. Tell him about the impact of his actions or words. Project grace. If he refuses to listen, treat him like a pagan or tax collector. Treat him as a person outside the family of Christ, as a potential Christian, and as a person who needs to know the love and forgiveness of Christ.
You can never go wrong with Christ-like behavior.
So friends... I'd love to hear your thoughts on this topic...
March 29, 2011
Part 4-Extra Grace Required-Jesus on Difficult People
Sorry I missed a couple days in here...Life got quite busy for a bit there and having a few extra minutes at my computer just didn't happen. Today our focus is going to be some of the "wrong" approaches we tend to take when faced with difficult people... Weigh in below peeps!
We often use the wrong approaches when dealing with difficult people.
Bully
Sometimes we project truth, but withdraw grace. We pump up our dominance, angrily take charge of a situation, and become a bull in a china shop. We recklessly tear into a situation without gaining understanding or perspective. We force our ideas, we use one-way communication, intimidate, interrupt, become belligerent, make demands, coerce, argue, and become closed-minded. We in essence, bully people to act in conformity with our wishes. The combination of truth and no grace can get quick results. But in the end it doesn’t really resolve anything. It polarizes people. It exacerbates the problem. It builds walls instead of bridges. It leads to ongoing power struggles between whatever parties are involved. In the upper left hand corner you can write "bully" or "jerk."
Postal syndrome
Another combination is when we withdraw truth and withdraw grace from a situation. First, we take a passive, submissive, weak, or compliant posture out of fear or insecurity. We don’t want to create problems. We don’t want to lose our jobs. We don’t want to get in a fight, or make waves, or become controversial, or be unpopular. We become doormats and we let others walk on us. But then at the same time we take a hostile, unresponsive posture toward a person out of anger or hatred. We lick our wounds. We tally their sins. We suppress our true feelings and emotions. We turn inward and become introspective. We secretly plot their demise and wish evil on them.
Some people refer to this as the postal syndrome. This is when a post office worker everyone thought of as "quiet" and a "nice worker" suddenly shows up at work with an automatic rifle and shoots his coworkers and boss. There were a number of such occurrences years ago. The postal syndrome is the result of a person letting his anger fester for years until he can take it no more. Then he explodes in violence! It's the profile of the shooters at Columbine and of the people involved in other school and workplace shootings. So if you want, write "postal" in the lower left hand corner.
Enabling
The other combination is that we project grace while withdrawing truth. Instead of dealing with the problem we just let things happen. We show the same weakness, compliance, and submissiveness as the last profile. But instead of getting angry, we try to appease the aggressor. We want to be accepted and loved. We want to be popular and keep people happy. So we meander and compromise while the whole world around us deteriorates. We smooth over differences and conflict. We value harmony over truth. We enable. We speak falsehoods to achieve artificial peace. We seek to become one big happy family or country club. In the lower right hand corner you can write "pals."
So just reflect on these various approaches to difficult people and situations. What happens when we act like a jerk with difficult people? Projecting truth at the expense of grace? It provokes. It exacerbates the problem. It creates hostilities! What happens when we go postal with difficult people? Withdrawing truth and grace. Burying our hurts. Wishing evil on others. It backfires. It destroys us. What happens when we pal around with difficult people? Projecting grace at the expense of truth? It enables them. We get taken advantage of. What happens when we show Christ-like behavior with difficult people?
My final thought on today's post... I think in many ways I am naturally an "enabler" I will offer grace at times at the cost of truth..."walking a mile in someone else's shoes" and while there is good in that... I cannot sacrifice truth in the process... even though I may want to out of fear of being rejected...
So what is "the best approach" to dealing with difficult people... tune in next time!
We often use the wrong approaches when dealing with difficult people.
Bully
Sometimes we project truth, but withdraw grace. We pump up our dominance, angrily take charge of a situation, and become a bull in a china shop. We recklessly tear into a situation without gaining understanding or perspective. We force our ideas, we use one-way communication, intimidate, interrupt, become belligerent, make demands, coerce, argue, and become closed-minded. We in essence, bully people to act in conformity with our wishes. The combination of truth and no grace can get quick results. But in the end it doesn’t really resolve anything. It polarizes people. It exacerbates the problem. It builds walls instead of bridges. It leads to ongoing power struggles between whatever parties are involved. In the upper left hand corner you can write "bully" or "jerk."
Postal syndrome
Another combination is when we withdraw truth and withdraw grace from a situation. First, we take a passive, submissive, weak, or compliant posture out of fear or insecurity. We don’t want to create problems. We don’t want to lose our jobs. We don’t want to get in a fight, or make waves, or become controversial, or be unpopular. We become doormats and we let others walk on us. But then at the same time we take a hostile, unresponsive posture toward a person out of anger or hatred. We lick our wounds. We tally their sins. We suppress our true feelings and emotions. We turn inward and become introspective. We secretly plot their demise and wish evil on them.
Some people refer to this as the postal syndrome. This is when a post office worker everyone thought of as "quiet" and a "nice worker" suddenly shows up at work with an automatic rifle and shoots his coworkers and boss. There were a number of such occurrences years ago. The postal syndrome is the result of a person letting his anger fester for years until he can take it no more. Then he explodes in violence! It's the profile of the shooters at Columbine and of the people involved in other school and workplace shootings. So if you want, write "postal" in the lower left hand corner.
Enabling
The other combination is that we project grace while withdrawing truth. Instead of dealing with the problem we just let things happen. We show the same weakness, compliance, and submissiveness as the last profile. But instead of getting angry, we try to appease the aggressor. We want to be accepted and loved. We want to be popular and keep people happy. So we meander and compromise while the whole world around us deteriorates. We smooth over differences and conflict. We value harmony over truth. We enable. We speak falsehoods to achieve artificial peace. We seek to become one big happy family or country club. In the lower right hand corner you can write "pals."
So just reflect on these various approaches to difficult people and situations. What happens when we act like a jerk with difficult people? Projecting truth at the expense of grace? It provokes. It exacerbates the problem. It creates hostilities! What happens when we go postal with difficult people? Withdrawing truth and grace. Burying our hurts. Wishing evil on others. It backfires. It destroys us. What happens when we pal around with difficult people? Projecting grace at the expense of truth? It enables them. We get taken advantage of. What happens when we show Christ-like behavior with difficult people?
My final thought on today's post... I think in many ways I am naturally an "enabler" I will offer grace at times at the cost of truth..."walking a mile in someone else's shoes" and while there is good in that... I cannot sacrifice truth in the process... even though I may want to out of fear of being rejected...
So what is "the best approach" to dealing with difficult people... tune in next time!
March 25, 2011
Part 3-Extra Grace Required-Jesus on Difficult People
We must be willing to project truth.
The first dimension relates to our willingness to project truth. On your bulletin or a scratch piece of paper draw a vertical line down the center of your page. At the top of the line write "projects truth" and at the bottom write "withholds truth." I am not talking about being extroverted instead of being introverted. I am talking about our willingness to inject truth into a situation that concerns us. Our willingness to stand on principle, to convey our beliefs, to take necessary risks with the difficult people in our lives, and to speak and act with conviction. Some lean toward projecting truth, while others tend to withhold truth from people.
Jesus believed that wherever it was championed, the truth would set us free. But he also knew that the inverse was true. Whenever we hold back truth, it destroys freedom. We become enslaved to people and their bad behaviors. One reason difficult people become so difficult is because we enable their behavior. We value our security so much that we refuse to take a risk and speak the truth. We don’t show people the truth of how their behavior impacts us and other people. We don’t show people the truth of how their lack of character diminishes their credibility, destroys workplace morale, impacts their relationships with God, damages their families, or whatever.
We assume that they see their behavior as we see it. We assume that they know how destructive their words and actions are. We assume that they know how deeply they are hurting us and those around them. And so we just keep quiet! In the end we allow ourselves to become enslaved to their senseless behavior because we don’t have the courage to project the truth and say to them, "Hey! Enough. Here is the damage you are causing. Here is what I see. Here is what others see. Here is God’s assessment. Here is cause and effect."
The truth is that most of the difficult people in our lives have no clue how they truly make us feel or how their behavior is impacting us. No one ever tells them! They are the way they are because no one has taken the risk and clued them in. Our problem isn’t knowing the truth, it is projecting the truth. It is telling our teenager, our mom or dad, our boss, our supervisor, our coworker, our pastor, our teacher, our neighbor, that difficult person in our life, "This is how your behavior is impacting me." It is putting an end to the falsehoods that enable their bad behavior.
We must be willing to project grace.
The second dimension relates to our willingness to project grace. On your bulletin draw a horizontal line across your page. On the left end of the line write "withholds grace" and to the right write "projects grace." This refers to our ability to show concern or regard for other people. Our ability to discipline our tongues and bodies, to take the high road, to convey warmth, to seek the ultimate good for another person, to build up and not destroy, and to forgive. Contrary to popular opinion, the ability to project grace takes tremendous inner character and strength. It is a quality that is truly of God. And it is in no way a sign of weakness.
The importance of grace is captured in 1 Peter 4:8 (NIV). "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." Love means staying above the fray. It means seeking understanding before doing something or saying something foolish. It means being favorably disposed, even toward our enemies. It means being full of the fruit of the Spirit which includes things like peace, patience, goodness, gentleness, kindness, and self-control. Love never provokes sin, neither in us or other people. It draws out the best in people, no matter how obnoxious or selfish or cruel they may be.
The challenge for us is to harmonize grace and truth with people and to demonstrate Christ-like behavior. In the upper right hand corner write "Christ-like behavior." So our goal is to project truth while also projecting grace. We need to stand up for what is right while also showing the love of Jesus Christ. To not show either truth or grace at the expense of the other individually, but always to show truth and grace together. So let’s talk about what we typically do wrong when dealing with difficult people.
I'm saving that part for tomorrow's post... so be sure to check back in...
While you are waitingt, take a few moments & draw out the diagram the author suggested... then will you ponder with me... "which quadrant do I think I fall into?"
For me, I think i lean a little to hard on projecting grace and not enough on projecting truth... I get scared that truth will hurt someone, so I get very nervous... is it my truth or is it God's truth? So I tend to err on the side of grace... is that a bad thing? I don't think so... HOWEVER, I need to speak truth too...to myself & sometimes to others! It is my hope & prayer that I am moving toward a balanced projection of grace & truth-to become more Christ-like in my behavior everyday!
The first dimension relates to our willingness to project truth. On your
Jesus believed that wherever it was championed, the truth would set us free. But he also knew that the inverse was true. Whenever we hold back truth, it destroys freedom. We become enslaved to people and their bad behaviors. One reason difficult people become so difficult is because we enable their behavior. We value our security so much that we refuse to take a risk and speak the truth. We don’t show people the truth of how their behavior impacts us and other people. We don’t show people the truth of how their lack of character diminishes their credibility, destroys workplace morale, impacts their relationships with God, damages their families, or whatever.
We assume that they see their behavior as we see it. We assume that they know how destructive their words and actions are. We assume that they know how deeply they are hurting us and those around them. And so we just keep quiet! In the end we allow ourselves to become enslaved to their senseless behavior because we don’t have the courage to project the truth and say to them, "Hey! Enough. Here is the damage you are causing. Here is what I see. Here is what others see. Here is God’s assessment. Here is cause and effect."
The truth is that most of the difficult people in our lives have no clue how they truly make us feel or how their behavior is impacting us. No one ever tells them! They are the way they are because no one has taken the risk and clued them in. Our problem isn’t knowing the truth, it is projecting the truth. It is telling our teenager, our mom or dad, our boss, our supervisor, our coworker, our pastor, our teacher, our neighbor, that difficult person in our life, "This is how your behavior is impacting me." It is putting an end to the falsehoods that enable their bad behavior.
We must be willing to project grace.
The second dimension relates to our willingness to project grace. On your bulletin draw a horizontal line across your page. On the left end of the line write "withholds grace" and to the right write "projects grace." This refers to our ability to show concern or regard for other people. Our ability to discipline our tongues and bodies, to take the high road, to convey warmth, to seek the ultimate good for another person, to build up and not destroy, and to forgive. Contrary to popular opinion, the ability to project grace takes tremendous inner character and strength. It is a quality that is truly of God. And it is in no way a sign of weakness.
The importance of grace is captured in 1 Peter 4:8 (NIV). "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." Love means staying above the fray. It means seeking understanding before doing something or saying something foolish. It means being favorably disposed, even toward our enemies. It means being full of the fruit of the Spirit which includes things like peace, patience, goodness, gentleness, kindness, and self-control. Love never provokes sin, neither in us or other people. It draws out the best in people, no matter how obnoxious or selfish or cruel they may be.
The challenge for us is to harmonize grace and truth with people and to demonstrate Christ-like behavior. In the upper right hand corner write "Christ-like behavior." So our goal is to project truth while also projecting grace. We need to stand up for what is right while also showing the love of Jesus Christ. To not show either truth or grace at the expense of the other individually, but always to show truth and grace together. So let’s talk about what we typically do wrong when dealing with difficult people.
I'm saving that part for tomorrow's post... so be sure to check back in...
While you are waitingt, take a few moments & draw out the diagram the author suggested... then will you ponder with me... "which quadrant do I think I fall into?"
For me, I think i lean a little to hard on projecting grace and not enough on projecting truth... I get scared that truth will hurt someone, so I get very nervous... is it my truth or is it God's truth? So I tend to err on the side of grace... is that a bad thing? I don't think so... HOWEVER, I need to speak truth too...to myself & sometimes to others! It is my hope & prayer that I am moving toward a balanced projection of grace & truth-to become more Christ-like in my behavior everyday!
March 24, 2011
Part 2-Extra Grace Required-Jesus on Difficult People
Jesus dealt with lots of difficult people.
When you read the New Testament you will notice that Jesus was constantly surrounded by difficult people of every degree. People who didn’t understand, who didn’t like him, who were threatened by him, and who were even trying to kill him. Jesus never reacted violently to the difficult people in his life. Could you imagine what would have happened if he would have reacted violently? If he would have commanded his angels, or if he would have flexed the muscle of God, or if he would have commanded the elements of nature, or unleashed the torrents of hell?
Jesus would have been one bad dude! No one would have messed with him. But as it was, Jesus restrained himself. He did not become violent or careless. But Jesus wasn’t a doormat either. He confronted his enemies. But intead of confronting them with swords, daggers, threats, or insults, Jesus confronted his enemies with a forceful mixture of grace and truth. He didn’t muddle up grace with passivity, or truth with violence. Instead, he brought grace and truth together in perfect harmony and delivered one devastating, paralyzing blow after another to the difficult people in his life.
Jesus has a lot to teach us about dealing with the difficult people in our lives. But we must consider his overall way of life and the sum total of all his teachings in order to develop an effective strategy for handling difficult people. To accomplish this I want to introduce you to a simple concept that captures the essence of Jesus' effective behavior when dealing with difficult people.
Let me begin by saying that our behavior is critically important. Our behavior toward people really does influence their behavior toward us. More often than not, our behavior with difficult people determines whether that person will continue being a difficult person. There are two dimensions of behavior that we need to be concerned about all the time.
More tomorrow...
Yeah, I know today's post is pretty short... but I am curious what 2 dimensions of behavior YOU think we need to be concerned about in light of how we treat other people while trying to follow Jesus' example?
When you read the New Testament you will notice that Jesus was constantly surrounded by difficult people of every degree. People who didn’t understand, who didn’t like him, who were threatened by him, and who were even trying to kill him. Jesus never reacted violently to the difficult people in his life. Could you imagine what would have happened if he would have reacted violently? If he would have commanded his angels, or if he would have flexed the muscle of God, or if he would have commanded the elements of nature, or unleashed the torrents of hell?
Jesus would have been one bad dude! No one would have messed with him. But as it was, Jesus restrained himself. He did not become violent or careless. But Jesus wasn’t a doormat either. He confronted his enemies. But intead of confronting them with swords, daggers, threats, or insults, Jesus confronted his enemies with a forceful mixture of grace and truth. He didn’t muddle up grace with passivity, or truth with violence. Instead, he brought grace and truth together in perfect harmony and delivered one devastating, paralyzing blow after another to the difficult people in his life.
Jesus has a lot to teach us about dealing with the difficult people in our lives. But we must consider his overall way of life and the sum total of all his teachings in order to develop an effective strategy for handling difficult people. To accomplish this I want to introduce you to a simple concept that captures the essence of Jesus' effective behavior when dealing with difficult people.
Let me begin by saying that our behavior is critically important. Our behavior toward people really does influence their behavior toward us. More often than not, our behavior with difficult people determines whether that person will continue being a difficult person. There are two dimensions of behavior that we need to be concerned about all the time.
More tomorrow...
Yeah, I know today's post is pretty short... but I am curious what 2 dimensions of behavior YOU think we need to be concerned about in light of how we treat other people while trying to follow Jesus' example?
March 23, 2011
Extra Grace Required... Jesus on Difficult People
Grab your favorite cuppa something, maybe a little chocolate and join me...
This is a topic I have wrestled with most of my life... How am I to treat the difficult people (or as I often am heard calling them ~ "EGR"-Extra Grace Required ) that have been placed in my life? As I've searched scripture, picked the brains of women I admire-those who aren't afraid to speak truth yet do it in such a way as to build up not tear down, prayed ALOT and then moved in the way God directed I have come to this point in my life... It is truth & grace together with love! I must speak up WHEN God is leading me to! I must look inward WHEN God tells me to! It isn't always about the "other" person, sometimes it is as much about me as it is them! Learning the difference is challenging.
Today, thanks to a dear friend, I have read an article that can be found at this link that has put into words EXACTLY what I've tried to tell people when they ask me how I deal with the difficult people in my life.
I am going to repost the link in parts on here (and hopefully share some of my own thoughts too) so that you can all read and absorb with me what Lakeside Christian Church shared back in August 2003.
I try very hard not to "land" on what man says, I try to "land" on God's Word...I feel like this article takes an honest look at how we want to react... Yet it takes us back to Jesus, His teachings & His real-life example of how to respond to difficult people (or circumstances for that matter). THAT is why I appreciate the authors words so much and why I think they resonated so clearly to me. His "reactions" are very much my own...however, I am called to respond NOT react (another post on that in the future).
Read on won't you? (don't forget to leave your thoughts in the comments!! I LOVE to hear from you too)
PART 1-Difficult People
All of us have difficult people in our lives. My wife has been married to a difficult person for over seven years. She has tried to tell me what it's like, but I just won’t hear of it!
Difficult people are special. They are always there for us when others aren’t, but especially on our bad days. When all hope seems lost. They have an uncanny way of saying things that just dampens the day! They can always be counted on to bring out the worst in us, to be obtuse and disagreeable, to make easy things impossible, to put a negative spin on the things we do, to speak ill of us, or to ignite an inextinguishable fire in our bellies. You know, they do all the very same things Satan does.
The Bible says in Isaiah 40:6 (NIV), "All men are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field; the grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of God remains forever." Something else that remains forever are difficult people. As much as we wish they would, they never go away!
I don’t think we have ever been taught how to deal with difficult people. I sure wish that I had been taught how to deal with difficult people when I was in high school. Those were some of the toughest years of my life. As a freshman, I had guys who bullied me daily. They'd insult and humiliate me in front of my friends, slam me into the locker, knock my books out of my hands, and destroy my art or shop projects. One guy blew snot on me. Those guys weren’t just difficult. They might also be characterized as evil.
Two poor strategies for dealing with difficult people
But I only knew how to respond with one of two extremes. The first extreme was to punch them in the mouth. To physically and violently react, to join them on their level, and give them a taste of their own medicine. In high school I did weight training not for athletic reasons, but for survival. I wanted to become stronger and tougher than my enemies so as to defeat them. Fighting can be a tremendous release. It momentarily satisfies our base desire to exact revenge and to retaliate a wrong that has been suffered. But in the end, I discovered that violence begets violence.
One time in high school I decked a guy, only to discover the very next day that several of his buddies wanted to take a shot at me. I had my hands full for weeks. I learned that it really is eye for eye and tooth for tooth. At that age I was already too ugly to go around toothless and eyeless my whole life! Besides, it's not the Christian way.
In Matthew 5:38-41 (NIV) Jesus says, "You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye and tooth for tooth.' But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles." Jesus wanted his followers to break the cycle of violence and not perpetuate it.
The other extreme reaction we often take, especially as Christians, is passivity. We become like doormats and we allow difficult people to walk all over us. This is how we interpret Jesus' words in Matthew 5. We think the best response is no response. We think difficult people will repent when they see our inaction, hear our silence, taste our saltiness, or feel our love.
I don’t want to give the wrong impression. In high school I rarely stood up for myself. I’d only react when pushed to the most extreme limits. Most of the time I’d lick my wounds and struggle in quiet passivity, counting the days until I would become an upper classman or even better, graduate! I’d hold my tongue. I’d turn the other cheek. I’d go that extra mile. I’d quell my emotions and anger. I’d suppress my hurts. But my passivity only seemed to empower the difficult people around me. They were emboldened by my inaction and took their abuses to new heights.
In the same way, many of you are caught between the two extremes. You don’t want to just stand by as that difficult person inflicts fresh damage. But in the same vein you don’t want to become like him and sink to his level. So what are we to do with the difficult people in our lives? If not violence or passivity, then what? What would Jesus do?
Check back again for Part 2-IT GETS EVEN BETTER!!!!
This is a topic I have wrestled with most of my life... How am I to treat the difficult people (or as I often am heard calling them ~ "EGR"-Extra Grace Required ) that have been placed in my life? As I've searched scripture, picked the brains of women I admire-those who aren't afraid to speak truth yet do it in such a way as to build up not tear down, prayed ALOT and then moved in the way God directed I have come to this point in my life... It is truth & grace together with love! I must speak up WHEN God is leading me to! I must look inward WHEN God tells me to! It isn't always about the "other" person, sometimes it is as much about me as it is them! Learning the difference is challenging.
Today, thanks to a dear friend, I have read an article that can be found at this link that has put into words EXACTLY what I've tried to tell people when they ask me how I deal with the difficult people in my life.
I am going to repost the link in parts on here (and hopefully share some of my own thoughts too) so that you can all read and absorb with me what Lakeside Christian Church shared back in August 2003.
I try very hard not to "land" on what man says, I try to "land" on God's Word...I feel like this article takes an honest look at how we want to react... Yet it takes us back to Jesus, His teachings & His real-life example of how to respond to difficult people (or circumstances for that matter). THAT is why I appreciate the authors words so much and why I think they resonated so clearly to me. His "reactions" are very much my own...however, I am called to respond NOT react (another post on that in the future).
Read on won't you? (don't forget to leave your thoughts in the comments!! I LOVE to hear from you too)
PART 1-Difficult People
All of us have difficult people in our lives. My wife has been married to a difficult person for over seven years. She has tried to tell me what it's like, but I just won’t hear of it!
Difficult people are special. They are always there for us when others aren’t, but especially on our bad days. When all hope seems lost. They have an uncanny way of saying things that just dampens the day! They can always be counted on to bring out the worst in us, to be obtuse and disagreeable, to make easy things impossible, to put a negative spin on the things we do, to speak ill of us, or to ignite an inextinguishable fire in our bellies. You know, they do all the very same things Satan does.
The Bible says in Isaiah 40:6 (NIV), "All men are like grass, and all their glory is like the flowers of the field; the grass withers and the flowers fall, but the word of God remains forever." Something else that remains forever are difficult people. As much as we wish they would, they never go away!
I don’t think we have ever been taught how to deal with difficult people. I sure wish that I had been taught how to deal with difficult people when I was in high school. Those were some of the toughest years of my life. As a freshman, I had guys who bullied me daily. They'd insult and humiliate me in front of my friends, slam me into the locker, knock my books out of my hands, and destroy my art or shop projects. One guy blew snot on me. Those guys weren’t just difficult. They might also be characterized as evil.
Two poor strategies for dealing with difficult people
But I only knew how to respond with one of two extremes. The first extreme was to punch them in the mouth. To physically and violently react, to join them on their level, and give them a taste of their own medicine. In high school I did weight training not for athletic reasons, but for survival. I wanted to become stronger and tougher than my enemies so as to defeat them. Fighting can be a tremendous release. It momentarily satisfies our base desire to exact revenge and to retaliate a wrong that has been suffered. But in the end, I discovered that violence begets violence.
One time in high school I decked a guy, only to discover the very next day that several of his buddies wanted to take a shot at me. I had my hands full for weeks. I learned that it really is eye for eye and tooth for tooth. At that age I was already too ugly to go around toothless and eyeless my whole life! Besides, it's not the Christian way.
In Matthew 5:38-41 (NIV) Jesus says, "You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye and tooth for tooth.' But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles." Jesus wanted his followers to break the cycle of violence and not perpetuate it.
The other extreme reaction we often take, especially as Christians, is passivity. We become like doormats and we allow difficult people to walk all over us. This is how we interpret Jesus' words in Matthew 5. We think the best response is no response. We think difficult people will repent when they see our inaction, hear our silence, taste our saltiness, or feel our love.
I don’t want to give the wrong impression. In high school I rarely stood up for myself. I’d only react when pushed to the most extreme limits. Most of the time I’d lick my wounds and struggle in quiet passivity, counting the days until I would become an upper classman or even better, graduate! I’d hold my tongue. I’d turn the other cheek. I’d go that extra mile. I’d quell my emotions and anger. I’d suppress my hurts. But my passivity only seemed to empower the difficult people around me. They were emboldened by my inaction and took their abuses to new heights.
In the same way, many of you are caught between the two extremes. You don’t want to just stand by as that difficult person inflicts fresh damage. But in the same vein you don’t want to become like him and sink to his level. So what are we to do with the difficult people in our lives? If not violence or passivity, then what? What would Jesus do?
Check back again for Part 2-IT GETS EVEN BETTER!!!!
November 13, 2010
Keep Your Chin Up
One year ago today, we lost a wonderful woman,daughter, sister, wife, mother & friend... and heaven gained one beautiful angel. Her life was her family... those she loved the most. I was blessed to know her if only for a few short years. (12 to be exact...and boy did they pass quickly) Her life was her Lord...whom she loved above all else.
This was so very evident in her life...and her death. One year later, her children, husband, family & friends still miss her and yet their lives go on... on to do wonderful things and touch the lives of others because of the example she lived out... They don't want her message to die with her... her message (at least to me) was that God loves each one of us and He is faithful no matter what comes our way. Walk with Him for it is the ONLY journey worth walking...no matter where it takes you...even if it seems you've been taken too soon...Keep your chin up...not because your tough and it's what the world tells us... but because it keeps your eyes focused on Him!
"I can do ALL things through Christ who strengthens me." Could I really? Could I really do ALL things...you see all means...well...all...even death Lord? Yes child, even death. Could I leave my family behind? I really don't know Lord... My child, if I called you home...I know you would come. Please trust me with those you love...I will never let them down.
So... I keep my chin up... eyes focused on my Savior... and when everything around me feels like it is falling apart or spinning out of control... I trust myself into His arms-the creator of the universe, who named every star, knows the number of hairs on my head, and promises He will never leave me. Well... at least I try really hard to do that! I need to be reminded every now & then to Keep My Chin Up!
Miss you Beth... know this though... you've left a legacy that will not end!
October 29, 2009
others some sadly self inflicted... Where do you turn when hurt-to The King or to other things?
October 28, 2009
Hurts n Healing
October 27, 2009
Revealing those hidden blooms
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